


Anne Boleyn: Captain of the Chaos Squad

by janeyseymour



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Crack Fic, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25664071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janeyseymour/pseuds/janeyseymour
Summary: Anne Boleyn does many questionable things. Chaos is bound to ensue. Some are caught on film, some aren't. A collection of one-shots!
Comments: 53
Kudos: 100





	1. This Sh!! is Bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! For a while, I've made up several scenarios in my head about the many of the antics of Anne Boleyn and uh, this was born. Here you go. Thank you, and as always: have a lovely day!

Anybody who has met Anne Boleyn will tell you that she is one of a kind, no category. That being said, among the queens, she is their favorite little green gremlin. Many of the questionable things the second queen had done were broadcast for their fanbase to see, but quite a few were not. Here are some of the most interesting things the green queen has done, caught on camera or not:

-

Since joining the social media world, Anne Boleyn has gained quite a following. Often, she was posting silly pictures of herself and her fellow queens, but every once in a while, chaos ensued. 

While the other queens were keeping themselves busy, the second queen had settled in the kitchen. Setting her phone up on the counter, she opened up the instagram app and began a livestream. Instantly a few hundred people had joined, wondering what was in store for them today. 

“Heyo fellow queens! It’s your girl, Annie B. Today, I’m just hanging out in the kitchen by myself and-” Anne’s eyes fell on a comment left by none other than Jane Seymour.

_ JaneySeymour: Anne Boleyn, do not touch any appliances. _

“Calm down Janey, I’m not going to touch any of your precious appliances. Anyway! Today, I’m just hanging around, and I’m willing to answer any questions that you have all about myself, the show, or the other queens!” The comment section flooded with questions, and as promised, the second queen did not hold back in answering. 

“Yes, the show is exhausting! Do you know how hard it is to not lose my head sometimes! There’s so many lighting effects!”

“It’s not terribly hard to figure out which queen we’re talking about. We typically call Aragon Catherine or Lina. Howard goes by Kat or Kitty. Parr is Cathy or Cath. We’ve got it down.” 

“Jane is 100% mum. In the beginning of this live, she told me not to touch any appliances.”

“And I meant it,” Jane grumbled as she made her way through the kitchen with a load of laundry, avoiding the camera.

“Jane, wait! Come back!” Anne called. “I’m sure the queendom would love to see you!” 

“I’m really not in a state for hundreds of people to see me right now.”

The comment section flooded with fans begging the blonde to come into view. 

“They wanna see you! Come on. It’ll be fun!” The blonde dropped the laundry basket at the top of the steps and made her way over. 

The third queen came into view, her hair tied up in a messy bun, glasses sitting on her face. 

“Hello queendom! I hope you are all having lovely days, and if no one told you today: you are enough! Love you!”

The viewers flooded the comment section with things such as:

_ WE STAN MUM SEYMOUR _

_ WE LOVE YOU JANE! _

_ Wow it really do be hittin different when THE Jane Seymour tells you you’re enough and she loves you _

“And that y’all, is the best mum I could ever ask for. Thanks Janey!” 

“Of course love. I’m sorry to go, but I have to finish tidying up around the house. Thanks queendom! Have a beautiful day!” Jane disappeared from sight. 

The live went on for a while, Anne Boleyn answering questions happily when one particular comment stood out to her.

_ Roseamongstthethorns: eat a banana with the peel still on _

The second queen laughed out loud, “okay roseamonstthethorns, I will eat a banana with the peel still on, and I will love every second of it!” The green queen grabbed a banana from the fruit basket that Jane filled so often. Without hesitation, she took a bite. 

“Holy-”

“Anne Boleyn, that better be finished with a “moly” and not another word,” Aragon called from out of view of the camera.

“Holy shit!” she exclaimed, just to get a rise out of Catherine. A loud groan could be heard. 

“I don’t know why I never thought to do this before! This is amazing!” She finished the banana and reached for another one. 

_ Roseamongstthethorns: do you have any more fruits you could try with the peel on? _

“Rose, I do! I have an orange. Let’s try it!” She threw the banana back into the basket and pulled an orange out. Anne took a big bite before spitting it out quickly. 

“It’s not as good,” she threw the orange out of sight before grabbing the banana again and digging in. 

A few minutes later, Jane came back up the stairs and wondered aloud, “Uh, why is there a whole orange with a bite out of it on the floor?” 

“Gotta go guys,” Anne rushed out before ending the live. 


	2. Self-Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne Boleyn does not have self-control. She knows this. Jane is, as she puts it, "87% of her self control".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! My brain is not stopping with ideas, so here! Have another chapter! Have a lovely day!

Anne Boleyn did not necessarily have impulse control. Unless Jane was around to stop her, the second queen didn’t really think about her actions, leading her to the situation she was in now. 

The third queen had been asked to appear on a television show, so she was away for the weekend. The other queens had asked her if she wished to accompany them to the museum, but Anne had declined.

“Annie, please? I want to see the section that they have on the Roman empire!” Her cousin begged. 

“Kitty, it’s just not my thing. I think I’ll just hang back.”

“Suit yourself,” Catherine said. “Just don’t do anything stupid while we’re gone tomorrow.” 

Now, it was morning, the other queens had left, and Anne eyed up the coffee pot full of Cathy’s espresso. She figured she could use the energy. She opened up the cupboard to grab a mug before an idea hit her. They were called espresso shots, right? She grabbed one of the few shot glasses they had and poured some of the dark liquid into it. Placing her phone on the counter and turning the camera to her, she began to video herself. Six shots of espresso later, she ended the video. After a few minutes of editing, she had a compilation of herself drinking seven espresso shots. Opening the Instagram app on her phone, she giggled. The green queen uploaded the video of herself with the caption:

_ AnnieBoleyn: Jane’s gone for the weekend and shes like 87% of my self-control so here we are _

The second queen’s notifications went off throughout the morning with several likes and many comments.

_ Sixqueenswalkintoabar: i don't know why but i can't stop watching this _

_ Hausofsix: this is the content i signed up for _

_ GoldStarForCathyParr: ANNE BOLEYN YOU DID NOT DRINK MY COFFEE!  _

Anne chuckled at the comment Cathy left before liking it and pinning it her post. 

_ Forfivemoreminutes: i'm dead. She really filmed herself drinking SEVEN espresso shots _

_ Catherine_Aragon: @JaneySeymour please come back. I can’t deal with the idiocy any longer. _

_ JaneySeymour: Anne Boleyn, I leave for one weekend... _

_ JaneySeymour: @Catherine_Aragon @AnnaCleves @KHoward @GoldStarForCathyParr please keep Anne alive  _

When the other five queens came home, they found Anne sound asleep on the living room couch. She had clearly crashed from the caffeine high. Catherine was happy she didn’t have to deal with the gremlin bouncing off the walls.

When Jane Seymour arrived home the following day, Anne was giving a stern talking to, streaming the entire thing live. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any ideas at all, please let me know! I would love love love to bring your ideas to life!


	3. Stay With Me While I Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne Boleyn falls asleep at the strangest times and sometimes in the strangest places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm here again, this time projecting my issue with sleeping on Anne! Please enjoy this fluff filled chapter! As always, have a lovely day!

It wasn’t uncommon for Anne to fall asleep in strange places, this much was known between the queens. Her sleep schedule was almost as unpredictable as Cathy Parr’s. Her sleeping spots were also just as unpredictable as Cathy’s. While Cathy tended to fall asleep by herself though, Anne Boleyn almost always found herself curled up around another queen. 

The second queen made her way into the first queen’s room around 2:30 in the morning. She simply opened the door, made her way to the bed that Aragon was currently sound asleep in, and made herself comfortable. The next morning, Anne woke up to shrill shrieks. 

“Anne! What are you doing in my bed?” The golden queen looked at her successor. “And what are you- Are you snuggling with my bible?”

“I couldn’t sleep by myself, but Jane had Katherine in her room, and you were closest.”

“You couldn’t have joined your cousins?”

“Kat kicks in her sleep.”

Christmas time was Jane’s favorite time of year. Having reason to make all of her favorite foods brought her immense joy. It was different than cooking a turkey and a ham at Christmas time rather than in July for her birthday. Having a reason to bake enough sweets to fill a bakery was her dream. The blonde had just finished preparing cookie dough and had stepped away for a few minutes to gather laundry as her first batch baked to golden perfection in the oven. 

Anne Boleyn, known cooking and baking disaster, made her way into the kitchen, ready to beg Jane to allow her to eat “just one spoonful of cookie dough Jane! Please!” When she wasn’t kicked out of the kitchen right away, she was astonished. This was going better than she could have planned for. She grabbed a spoon from their drawer and took a big scoop before popping it into her mouth. 

When Jane Seymour came back to the kitchen mere minutes later to take out the cookies in the oven, Anne Boleyn had two bowls next to her: one bowl of roughly half the amount of cookie dough that was in there when she left, and another empty bowl with what Jane could only assume was cookie dough remains. The green queen was not in a chair though, no- she was laying on their kitchen table asleep. 

“For heaven’s sake,” Jane muttered as she picked up the sleeping woman and carried her to the couch. “If you’re going to fall asleep, please don’t do it where I’m clearly working.”

Anna of Cleves liked to play video games. This was a known fact in the house. If she wasn’t out at the dog park or working out, it was a safe bet to say that she was in the living room playing any sort of video game she could find. 

It was 10:30 on a gloomy Saturday morning when Anna decided Call of Duty might be a fun game to try. It was 10:35 when Anne Boleyn came trudging down the steps, blanket and pillow in hand. 

“Boleyn, did you not sleep at all last night?” 

“It’s not my fault I got distracted watching a movie.” 

“It absolutely is.”

“Leave me alone.” Anne had settled her pillow on Anna’s lap and promptly fell asleep. 

“Anne Boleyn, wake up! I’m not staying on this couch all day with you!” She poked the green queen’s cheek incessantly. 

“Cleves... comfy...” Anne mumbled as she stretched and tightened her grip around the fourth queen’s waist. 

When Aragon and Jane came in from weeding the garden together, they found both Anne and Anna fast asleep, the dark Call of Duty music playing in the background.

“We really gotta make that girl sleep at night,” Aragon whispered to Jane, who had now begun to take pictures of the sleeping queens. 

“At least she’s not asleep on my kitchen table this time.” 

Katherine Howard’s bed was covered in stuffed animals. Wherever they went, the pink haired queen was sure to pick up yet another fuzzy animal to lay on her bed. It shouldn’t be a surprise that every once in a while, if the queens couldn’t find their youngest friend, she was asleep on her bed covered with stuffed animals. Anne Boleyn was also known to do this. 

When the queens weren’t able to find their favorite gremlin 10 minutes before they were meant to leave for their show, logically the first place they should’ve looked was Katherine’s bed. Unfortunately for them, that wasn’t the case. They spent 15 minutes searching the outside of the property. She was nowhere to be found- not sitting under their deck, not laying on the ground looking at the clouds, not even up high in the trees that she loved to climb so often.

“Annie?” Kat singsonged. “Where are you?” 

“Anne Boleyn, do not think I won’t leave you here to walk to the theatre yourself!” Both Aragon and Jane threatened. Now usually, when this was a threat, the green queen came bolting down the stairs knowing they really would leave her; she learned that the hard way. 

“Do you guys think she’s asleep?” Cathy pondered.

“She’s not in her room,” Anna sighed before lighting up. “Did anyone check Kitty’s room?” 

Instantly the five were on their way to the bright pink room. The room was silent for the most part, well except for soft snores coming from under the mountain of stuffed animals on the bed. 

“Anne!” Kat jumped on her bed and began to disassemble the pile of plushies. 

“Huh?” Annie turned onto her back. “What’s goin on?”

“We just spent 20 minutes looking for you. We were supposed to leave for the theatre 10 minutes ago!” Jane grumbled. “Why weren’t you in your own room anyway?”

“I thought the stuffed animals would keep me warm.” Anne sat up and grinned before announcing, “I’m happy to say that I was right.”

“The first and only time Anne Boleyn will ever be right,” Aragon deadpanned. A stuffed animal was thrown her way. 

Catherine Parr was almost always still awake late into the night. Anne Boleyn took advantage of this.

“Hey Cath,” Anne sauntered into her room at 1:45 in the morning. 

“Hey. You’re more than welcome to hang out here, but I really have to finish this idea tonight, or it’s never getting done.”

“That’s fine. I’ll be back.” Anne exited, only to return a few short minutes later with her favorite jumper on, a bag of chips, a plastic bag, and her phone. 

“Do you care if I eat on your bed?” 

“I’d- prefer you n-”

“I’m going to. But don't worry; I’m going to eat over the bag so there won’t be any crumbs on your bed.”

It had been awhile since Cathy finished her writing for the night. The two were now huddled together watching a movie on the second queen’s phone, both happily munching on the chips- bag long forgotten. Midway through, Anne fell asleep, leaving Cathy to finish the movie herself. After it was over, Cathy set the phone along with the chips on the floor by her bed. Finally, the two with the least amount of sleep had given into dreaming.

The next morning, Anne woke up on the floor.

“Why am I-” the second queen took in her surroundings. “On the floor of Cathy Parr’s room?” She mumbled to herself. 

“You kept rolling onto me in the middle of the night. I can't believe you didn’t wake up when I kicked you off the bed,” Cathy replied, not even looking up from her place at her desk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any ideas for this fic are welcome! I would love love love to bring your ideas to life!


	4. Stupid? No.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many, many words could be used to describe Anne Boleyn. Stupid is not one of those words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here's another installment of Anne being a chaotic soft. As always, have a lovely day!

Many words could be used to describe Anne Boleyn. Spontaneous? Yes. Silly? Yes. Kind? Yes. Thoughtful? Yes. Stupid, was not one of those words. The amount of times that Anne Boleyn and her knowledge took the other queens by surprise was uncountable. 

In fact, the line the second queen delivered at the end of the show was inspired by one of the first times she had exposed her genius. 

“Catalina! Guess what guess what guess what!” Anne rushed out.

“Oh dear lord. I feel a headache coming. What Anne?” The first queen put her head in her hands, not ready for whatever the green queen was going to spew at her. 

“Did you know that the microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket? Isn’t that freaking amazing?”

“Did you really interrupt my cooking to tell me this?” 

“Yeah! The microwave was invented in 1946 to be used in restaurants and on airplanes! Is that not the coolest thing? Like, they were supposed to be used in public places, and now the place that they’re mostly in is households. I think that’s so cool. And I can’t believe that it was invented all because of chocolate; that just makes it about 1000 times cooler.”

“You know all of this information about the microwave, and yet you still can’t figure out how to use it,” Aragon stifled a laugh.

Jane had been weeding her garden when Anne came out.

“Hey Annie, what’s brought you out?” 

“I needed some vitamin D. Did you know that sitting out in the sun is the best way to get vitamin D?” The second queen stifled a laugh as she began her next sentence. “ You know, you probably get the most vitamin D in this household, but the least amount of any other-”

“Anne Boleyn that is enough. If you only came out to make crude jokes, I’m going to politely ask you to go inside.”

“No, wait!” Anne put her hands up. “I really did come out to soak up some sun.”

“What the hell is this?” Anna of Cleves held up an orange carrot on one of the first days they were reincarnated. 

“A carrot,” Anne replied, as if she hadn’t just dropped a crazy piece of information.

“Carrots are purple?”

“Yeah, I was reading up on it last night. Apparently, it happened in the 17th century. Mutations and things like that.”

“Mutations?”

“Yeah, like...” Anne went on to explain what a mutation was and how the carrots became orange. “And so, carrots' natural colors are either purple, yellow, or white. The orange color that is most common now is not the original color they’re supposed to be.”

“What the-”

“Yeah,” Anne drawled out. “I read!” She held out her fist, waiting for a fist bump.

“Uh, what am I supposed to do with this?” 

“Make a fist and hit mine with it. It’s called a fist bump. Apparently, it’s a thing that came around in the 70s.”

“The 1570s?”

“No, the 1970s Anna.” 

Katherine Howard had always loved history and cats. Anne Boleyn was more than happy to show off her random facts about both subjects to her younger cousin. 

“Kat! What’re you doing?” The second queen made her appearance known rather suddenly, making the other queen jump from her spot. 

“Just watching cat videos on Youtube. Why?”

“Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to come watch me try to eat six saltines in a minute, but not anymore,” she stated matter-of-factly. “Did you know the only domestic animal not mentioned in the bible is a cat? Cat’s have 32 muscles in their ears. Cats were also domesticated as early as the times of Ancient Egypt. Isn’t that neat?”

“Annie, I was watching cats fall off of different places.” The pink haired queen tilted her phone for her cousin to see. 

“Oh,” she sighed, before perking up again. “But aren’t those facts so cool?” 

“They are.”

“Do you want to know more?”

“Do you want to just watch the videos with me?”

“Absolutely.”

The second and sixth queen spent much of their time discussing random subjects at any

time of day or night. Occasionally, the other queens would join, but it was mostly just something the two held close to their hearts. 

On this night though, Anne Boleyn was drunk. Cathy Parr was not. This situation always led to some of the most interesting topics, but tonight, the other queens were the focus.

“You know, each of the queens has a few strange quirks.”

“Oh?” Cathy subtly began to record the conversation on her phone. “Like what?”

“Well, Lina, as much as she likes to play hardass most of the time is a total softy. She always wants to be right, but I’ve seen her googling the right ways to go about certain things with the others. She won’t admit to that though. She also has really weird pet peeves. She never chooses the cart at the store that squeaks. Like ever. So, whenever I’m forced to go with her, I always make sure to get one of the carts that doesn’t squeak. I know she sees me as a pain, but I do try to keep her happy occasionally. And uh, Jane puts the silverware away in a very specific order. First, anything that doesn’t belong in the drawer like whisks or ladles or something like that. Then, she puts away the sharp knives, but since we have two sets of those, she picks out the wooden ones and puts them away before she moves on to the black handled ones. Then, she puts away the butter knives, and then the forks, and then the big spoons, but she does the tablespoons and then the soup spoons, and then the teaspoons. Wow, spoons is a really weird word. Spoons, spoons, spoons,” the intoxicated queen giggled. 

Wanting to hear more about what Anne has noticed, Cathy encouraged her to keep talking, “What about Cleves?”

“Cleves will almost never initiate a hug. She’ll accept them, but she won't ever be the one to pull you into a hug. That’s why whenever she looks sad, I always offer her a hug because I know she needs one but won’t ask for one.”

“And Kitty?”

“Kitty makes her way through the house silently at night. It’s like she knows the exact floorboards to step on so that she doesn’t make a sound. I watched her do it one night when I was coming out of the bathroom. Now that I think about it, Jane does it too.”

“And me?” 

“You always seem as though you’re always out of the loop because you’re busy with your writing, but you always know what is happening at any given moment.” Cathy’s mouth formed an ‘O’. “Oh! And, sometimes you mumble things under your breath to your pens.”

“You’re pretty observant.”

“I think that’s my quirk. Everyone expects me to not notice anything, but I see a lot. I’m just loud. Maybe that’s my quirk. I’m loud.”

Anne Boleyn was many things. Stupid wasn’t one of them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another important reminder: YOU matter!


	5. A Chance (to annoy Jane)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Kat help Anna smuggle a dog into the house, much to the annoyance of Jane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Someone had an idea for Anne to help Anna smuggle a bunch of animals into the house and have them all end up in the bathroom. It uh, didn't turn out that way, but I hope it still suffices! As always, have a lovely day!

Anne and Anna often got into sticky situations together. That would never change.

“Anne! I need your help!” Anna burst through the front door.

“Dude, what? I’m kinda watching a show right now.”

“Trust me, this is way better than watching whatever lame history show you’re watching with Kitty right now.”

“Rude!” The pink haired queen yelled. 

“Okay, what?” The second queen glanced over at Anna, now realizing she was holding a small dog. “What are you-”

“I found a dog,” Anna replied casually.

“And why do you need my help?”

“Dude, you know Jane said, and I quote, ‘Anna, as long as I’m living here, there will be no pets in the house. I’ll be the one to end up taking care of it in the end.’ But, I found this dog outside with no collar on, and he came up to me and let me pet him, and when I went to leave, he followed me home. I couldn’t just leave him out in the cold all night!”

“It’s Summer Anna. It doesn’t even get that cold at night,” Kat pointed out. 

“But it’s going to be Winter eventually! And he needs a home. Look at his face. How could you say no to this?” Anna held up the small white dog in her arms for effect. 

“You had me when I knew this would annoy the shit out of Jane. What are we going to do with it?” The green queen laughed. 

“It needs a bath. And a name; I’m not calling it ‘it’ for the rest of its life.”

“How about Chance? He’s got a second chance at life, and he gives us a chance to annoy Janey!” 

The three queens managed to get the small dog into their bathtub, but when they turned the water on, the dog began to bark incessantly.

“Shh Chance. Jane is going to be really mad if she wakes up to a dog that she doesn’t want in the first place!” 

“What are you guys doing in there?” Jane’s voice rang through the hallway.

“Stay quiet guys! Maybe she’ll think we aren’t in here!” Anne whispered just a bit too loudly, and surely loud enough for the third queen to hear. 

“I know you’re in there. I want to know why you’re in there- all three of you. Oh god, did you guys get covered in mud again? Or worse, Kat’s glitter?” The silver queen groaned. “Please tell me it’s not-” She was interrupted by a bark. 

“Anna of Cleves! Did I just hear a dog in there?” 

“No!” the fourth queen called out. “Anne is just mad at me and barked.”

“Sorry Ja-” Anne began but was stopped by another bark from the small dog.

“Open the door!” Jane pounded her fist on the door. Anne opened the door slightly.

“What’s the password?” She asked with as much seriousness in her voice as she could muster. 

“Anne Boleyn, now is not the time for childlike games!” 

“Mum, it’s not what it sounds like?”

“Oh really?” Jane shot back. “It sounds like you all smuggled a dog into the house even though I specifically said that was not to happen. And,” Jane pushed open the door. “It looks like it’s exactly what it looks like!”

“Jane,” Anne sighed, getting ready to take the fall for Anna and deal with the Seymour wrath. “It’s all my fault. I found this little guy, and I just couldn’t resist his face. Come on Janey, you can’t say no to Chance!”

“Oh my God you already named it?” Jane slapped a hand to her forehead.

“Maybe.” Anna smiled shyly.

Years later, Jane could almost always be seen with Chance at her feet and Kat curled up into her side. The two had wormed their way into her heart of stone. Rather frustrated, she thanked Anne for bringing the pup home. And then Anne launched into the truth of how Chance actually came home, including her little quip about being given a chance to annoy the blonde. 

“Anna of Cleves, you are so damn lucky I love you and Chance. And Anne Boleyn, how dare you name _my_ precious dog after a reason to drive me nuts.”

"Your dog?" All five of the queens glared at the third queen.

"If I can remember correctly Seymour, you said, and I quote, 'Anna, as long as I’m living here, there will be no pets in the house. I’ll be the one to end up taking care of it in the end,'" Anna tried to mimic Jane. " _Your_ dog my ass."


	6. Balloon Animals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne Boleyn takes up a strange hobby: balloon art.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So, this is actually kind of based on my actions. Back in like... 2016, I thought it would be cool to learn how to make balloon art. Recently, I was able to find a pack of balloons at Walmart for like... $5. Today, I bought a 400 pack of balloons to make balloon art with for my students. It didn't seem too off brand for Anne, and this was born! I hope you enjoy, and have a lovely day!

“Anne! You have a package!” Cathy called as she brought in the mail. “It’s from Amazon!”

“Oh my god my balloons arrived!” Anne came bouncing down the steps, grabbing the package from the writer’s hands.

“Balloons?” Jane asked as she went through the rest of the mail Parr had set down on the table.

“Yes Jane. Some mail is fun. It’s not all just bills and advertisements.” The second queen began to unveil her package and pulled out a large bag of thin balloons and an air pump. 

“What’s the point of these balloons?” Kat walked in.

“Balloon animals!” Anne announced excitedly. “It looked like fun, and I figured it might be something that I could do in my spare time!” 

“Okay... just don’t make a mess,” Aragon snorted, knowing Anne Boleyn would surely be making a mess with the 400 balloons she just bought. 

“Shit!” Anne could be heard yelling from her room after yet another balloon popped on her.

“Language!” Jane called from her room. 

“Sorry Janey! I meant shoot!” The second queen began to blow up another balloon. After a few tries, she was able to craft the flower she had been attempting to make for the past fifteen minutes. 

“Janey!” The green queen walked into the third queen’s room. “I made you a flower!” She pulled the yellow flower balloon out from behind her back and held it out for the other queen to see. 

“It’s lovely Anne! You’re getting quite good at that!” 

Aragon walked into her bedroom after a particularly long night when she laid her eyes upon a giraffe balloon animal on her bed. She put it on her bedside table next to all of the other important things the queens had given her. 

The next morning, Catherine allowed the gremlin to heely wherever she wanted.

“Lina, why are you letting her get away with this?” Cathy whispered.

“She made me a giraffe balloon animal. Turns out, she’s not so bad at that stuff.”

“Kitty! I made you a kitty!” 

“Annie! It’s so good!” She held the balloon up. “And she’s pink! Her name is pinky!” 

“Do you want anything else?”

“A penguin!” 

For the next years to come, every once in a while, Kat would find a new piece of balloon art in various places from the balloon queen herself. Every time, the balloon was pink. And every time, without hesitation, Kat named the balloon “Pinky”. 

A balloon animal dog is easily one of the simplest balloon animals to make. Anne Boleyn didn’t think that the first piece of balloon art she would make was good enough to be given to Anna of Cleves. So for months, the second queen tried to make the perfect dog to give the woman sharing the same name as her. 

“Anne?” The red queen spoke up one day.

“Yeah?”

“I was just uh,” she shook her head with doubt. “Nevermind, it’s stupid.”

“What is it?”

“You just... I’ve seen Kat get so many balloon animals. And Jane seems to get a never ending supply of plant balloons. Even Aragon has been getting animals.” 

“Oh Anna,” the green queen sighed. 

“I told you it was dumb.”

“No! I just- follow me.” Anne led Anna to her room before opening her closet and pulling out over a dozen balloon animal dogs she had made in the past week alone. 

“What is this?”

“None of them were good enough! The dog is the easiest and most simple balloon animal out there. I’ve been trying to find the perfect way to make a balloon animal dog fit for the queen.” 

“These are perfect!” 

“If you think so, you can take them! But I’m not going to stop trying to find the perfect dog for you!”

Anna of Cleves returned to her room, an army of balloon animal dogs in her arms.

Catherine Parr didn’t get balloon animals. She was allergic to latex. Of course, the writer couldn’t be isolated in the silly little exchange from the second queen to the others. Instead, Anne got her a metallic statue of a balloon animal dog. Cathy was happy with the gesture and made sure “Krootawn”, as she so lovingly named it, sat on her desk for her to see every time she sat down to write. 


	7. Stranded (Again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne doesn't always make good decisions. Sometimes, her decisions lead to her being left places. Cue Mama Jane to the rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! A while ago, I made a silly tumblr post (if you care to check out my tumblr, it's @janeyseymour) about the queens as things I've tweeted. Uh, this is loosely based off of a tweet of mine. Enjoy! As always, have a lovely day!

Since joining the new age, all of the queens had been introduced to social media. Some were more involved than others. For example, Catherine, Jane, and Catherine were typically not uploading content to their social media. Yes, they appeared in many pictures, videos, and livestreams of the others, but they seldom posted themselves. Meanwhile, Anne, Anna, and Katherine were active almost everyday. Anne Boleyn, the social media queen of them all, liked to livestream the events in her days quite frequently. 

On this day, Anne had accompanied Aragon to the local Kmart down the road from their house. The second queen had grabbed the cart for the first, after making sure it didn't squeak of course. Boleyn knew how much that drove her predecessor crazy. But once that was done, all bets were off on what the green queen would do. 

“Lina! Lina! Lina! Think fast!” The chaotic queen threw a ball at the more elegant queen, the ball bouncing off of Catherine’s perfectly styled hair. 

“Anne Boleyn, you little-” The golden queen bolted after Anne, the cart now forgotten. The second queen could only run. Knowing she wouldn’t be able to outrun the older queen, she dove into a clothing rack, successfully hiding herself. Minutes passed by when an announcement could be heard over the speaker.

“Anne Boleyn, please make your way to the customer service desk,” An employee said, rather unenthusiastically. This wasn’t the first time the employee had to attempt to summon the gremlin to the front desk. 

“Anne Boleyn, if you are not in the car in two minutes, I will leave your ass here; don’t think I-”

“Ma’am, you really can’t say stuff like that over the loudspeaker,” the employee interrupted.

“So sorry,” she apologized. “Anne Boleyn, if you are not in the car in two minutes, I’m leaving without you.” 

The second queen made the choice to stay in the clothing rack, and Aragon, a woman of her word, left. After fifteen minutes of waiting outside, Anne knew the first queen wasn’t coming back. Sighing, she pulled out her phone.

“Hey guys!” She began a livestream. “So, as you all know, I like to stream some of the “events”, as Jane calls them, that happen in my life. So welcome to today’s episode of “I annoyed Lina and now I’m stranded! Kmart edition!” 

_ Forfivemoreminutes: why do i feel like these episodes happen like every other day? _

“Well Forfivemoreminutes, that’s because they do!” 

_ JaneySeymour has requested to go live with you.  _

_ JaneySeymour: Anne, please let me join the live. _

“Alright guys, Janey’s gonna join us,” she accepted the request before muttering, “and I don’t know why I’m letting her join knowing I’m going to get lectured.” 

_ Sixqueenswalkintoabar: ARE WE GONNA GET TO HEAR A MAMA SEYMOUR LECTURE LIVE? _

“Hi queendom, I hope you’re all having a lovely day,” Jane smiled into the camera before continuing, “Anne, what the heck did you do to make Lina leave you at Kmart?”

“I threw a ball at her head. She did not like that,” Anne stated matter of factly. 

“Why?” The blonde practically yelled. “Why on Earth would you think that was a good idea?”

“It seemed like a good idea in the moment,” Anne shrugged.

“So she just left you?”

“Well,” Anne drew out. “No. She tried to chase after me, and I hid in a clothing rack, and she told me if I wasn’t out and in the car in two minutes, she would leave me.” 

_ Catherine_Aragon: I’m a woman of my word. Jane, don’t be mad. _

“Anne, she gave you warning,” Jane sighed. “You should’ve known better. It’s not like this is the first time something like this has happened. Please next time, think before doing something that is going to get you into trouble.”

“Catherine, since you’re on here, can you please just come back and get me?” 

_ Catherine_Aragon has requested to go live with you. _

“Janey, Lina wants to join, so I’m going to have to let you go, but please stay on the live.” 

“Alright. If I don’t return queendom, have a beautiful rest of your day!” Jane signed off. 

“Anne Boleyn, do not act like you thought it was a good idea in the moment. You know fully well that it was a bad idea in the first place.”

“Can you please just come and get me?”

“Queendom, what do you think?”

Messages flooded with answers ranging from “yes” to “she kind of did it to herself” to “we all know if Aragon wont, Jane will” 

_ JaneySeymour: IF Lina won’t, I’ll come get you. But I’d rather not. Kitty and I are quite happy watching the television right now. _

“Wow. Thanks Jane,” Anne muttered. 

“I think that roseamongstthethorns is right. You did this to yourself. Find a way home.” Catherine signed off. 

“Janey, please come back to the live.” Almost instantly, the third queen’s face appeared. 

“So, I’m assuming I’m going to have to come get you?” Jane asked, even though it was more of a statement. 

“Please.” 

_ Roseamongstthethorns: Can we please talk about how whenever Anne wants something from Jane, she calls her Janey and gives her puppy dog eyes? And also how she always calls her Janey? It’s adorable. _

_ Sixtudorqueens: Cue Mama Jane to the rescue.  _

“Mum, do you have to go get her?” Kat’s voice was quiet.

_ Roseamongstthethorns: CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW KAT JUST CALLED JANE MUM _

“Yes Kitty. I’m not going to make her walk home, even if she deserves it.” Jane looked back at the screen. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Jane signed off once more. 

Ten minutes later, Anne was still livestreaming when Jane’s car pulled up. 

“And queendom, Mama Jane has arrived!” She turned the camera around to show the viewers a not-so-thrilled looking Jane. 

“Hi Queendom,” the blonde said sweetly before looking Anne in the eye and lowering her voice, “Anne Boleyn, I hope you know Catherine is waiting to speak with you at home.”

“Oh dear god. Gotta go guys.” She stalked into the car and ended the live. 


	8. Bored In The House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the events of 2020, Anne was "bored in the house, and in the house bored", leading her to making one fan's day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont know what this is at this point, but please enjoy! As always, have a lovely day!

Since quarantine had hit, Anne Boleyn had been bored out of her mind.

“Bored in the house, and I’m in the house bored,” she would repeat over and over to any of the queens who would listen. This changed one day. 

_ Andtonightwearelive would like to send you a message.  _

_ Andtonightwearelive: i saw a bunch of people messaging famous people, and i doubt i’ll get a response but hey queen! Hope you’re dealin with quarantine alright! Have a good day!  _

Anne had a brilliant idea. She was going to video call this fan. She hit the call button and waited a few seconds before the call connected. 

“Hi love! I just saw your message, and I’m bored so,” Anne smiled at the fan. 

“Oh my god!” The teen turned to someone off camera. “Mum! THE Anne Boleyn just called me!” 

“What’s your name?” Anne grinned. It was nice to see that her chaotic choice had led her to some good today. 

“It’s-oh my god I’m really talking to THE Anne Boleyn!” The fan squealed. “It’s Layla!”

“Hi Layla! How’s your day going?” 

“Well, it’s going fantastic now! And how are you?”

“I’m SO-”

“Anne we know you’re bored,” Kat called. “Who are you talking to?” 

“I might’ve called a fan account. Her name is Layla! Wanna come say hi?” Katherine Howard appeared on the screen next. 

“Hi Layla! I hope you’re having a beautiful day!” 

“Oh my god! You too! Thank you so much for calling me!”

“Of course! I better get going before Janey hears-”

“Anne, who are you talking to?” Jane’s voice rang out. 

“I may or may not have called a fan account.” 

“Oh! I- uh, are they there right now?” 

“Yeah! Her name is Layla! Come say hi!” 

“Hi love!” Jane, dressed in her favorite grey sweater, appeared. “I’m Jane,” the third queen introduced herself as if the teenager on screen didn’t know who she was immediately.

“I- Oh my gosh, this is insane. You guys are all like, just amazing and I wish that I was able to see you guys live and I just, you are all such inspirations to me,” Layla gushed. 

The three queens talked with the young girl for a few more minutes before ending the call. 

_ Andtonightwearelive: So... I kinda had my mom record the whole call.. Do you mind if i post a snippet of it on my page? _

_ AnnieBoleyn: ye! which part?  _

_ Andtonightwearelive: uh, the beginning, and the part where Jane hyped me up?  _

_ AnnieBoleyn: Lemme ask Mum rq but she shouldnt mind! _

_ AnnieBoleyn: she said thats fine :) rly was so fun to talk to u Layla. have a good rest of ur day!  _

It was a few hours later when Anne got a notification that  _ Andtonightwearelive _ tagged her in a video. As Layla had said, Anne heard the beginning of their call and then it cut to Jane.

“Alright love, we best be going because we have to start making dinner but please know that you are enough. Stay true to yourself because you are wonderful, and if you stay you, you are going to make it so many places in this world, and we all believe in you. You’ve got this hun. Have a lovely rest of your day!” 

_ Andtonightwearelive: So uh... this happened !!!  _

_ AnnieBoleyn: Layla! so lovely to chat w u today! Thx for taking the time to talk to us! _

_ Andtonightwearelive: ohmygosh no thank YOU @AnnieBoleyn _

_ KHoward: so wonderful to meet you! _

_ Andtonightwearelive: THANK YOU FOR SAYING HELLO @KHoward _

_ JaneySeymour: It was lovely to meet you Layla. And I meant what I said! You are enough, just the way you are! Stay kind!  _

_ Andtonightwearelive: @JaneySeymour you have no idea how much that meant to me  _

Anne liked the idea of her chaotic choice bringing a smile to the fans faces. She decided she was going to continue reaching out to the queendom, and every Saturday, she made it a point to call at least one lucky fan. Often, the rest of the queens would join her. 


	9. Secret Talents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne has been spending a lot of time out of the house lately. When the queens find out why, they're amazed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm not too sure how or why I thought of this, but here you go! Enjoy, and as always, have a lovely day!

The other queens were getting quite worried about their second queen. She had tendencies to leave the house announced and come back hours later, but it was happening more and more often lately. 

“Do you think we should confront her?” Jane, ever the mum, asked.

“I think if she was doing anything bad, she would have at least told me,” Kat pointed out. “She does all of these crazy things and can’t keep her mouth shut. Just like that time that she got arrested for public urination and none of you found out until right now when I told you.”

“She what?” Cathy looked at the pink haired queen with wide eyes. 

“I didn't tell any of you that.”

“That is something we will be talking about later Kat. For now, what should we do?” Jane shook her head.

“Howard’s right Seymour. If she was doing anything terribly wrong, she would tell us,” Anna piped up. 

“I mean, as long as she doesn’t end up dead, I don't really care what the gremlin does,” Aragon replied casually. 

“Lina, that’s not the right response,” Jane mumbled. “I think one of us should confront her.”

“You should,” Cathy said. When Jane shot her a look, she answered, “Well you’re mum for a reason.” 

“Kat, what if you talked to Annie?”

“Talked to Annie about what?” Anne walked in the front door. Immediately, all eyes landed on the blonde. 

“Uh, hello? What are we worried about this time?” 

When the looks towards the third queen only continued, Jane spoke up. “Anne, we’re worried about all the time you’ve spent out of the house lately. We know you go out a lot, but it seems like you’re never home anymore. We just want to make sure you aren’t doing anything stupid,” she lowered her voice a bit. “Like getting arrested for public urination.”

“Kat!” Anne whined. “You told them?” 

“I didn’t mean to!” The fifth queen’s arms raised. 

“Annie, if you’re doing anything stupid, we at least want to know so if something happens, we can come rescue you,” Jane tried again. 

“I’m not doing anything stupid!” When the rest of the queens just stared at her in disbelief, she opened the door again and gestured for them to follow. The green queen made her way to the car and opened up the driver’s door. None of the queens got in with her. 

“If you want to see what I’ve been doing, you’ll get in with me.” No queen made a move. 

“Oh come on! I’ve driven myself to the place and back so many times, and not once have I died doing it!” 

“There’s a first for everything,” Aragon muttered to her goddaughter. The six queens got into the car, and when Anne drove for about five minutes before stopping at a gymnastics center, the queens were more than confused. Silently, the second queen got out of the car and held the door open for the other queens to follow. 

“This is what I’ve been doing,” Anne sighed. 

“I didn’t know you knew anything about gymnastics?”

“Well, I didn’t until about 3 months ago. I was just looking for a way to get out some of my energy. Turns out, I’m kind of okay at it.”

“Show us what you can do!” Jane, now knowing that Anne was doing something perfectly legal, although a bit dangerous, was excited to see what the second queen was capable of. 

“Which event?”

“Show me the tumbling!” Kat grinned from ear to ear. Watching the floor routines from the Olympics were fascinating. 

Anne was able to execute an almost perfect round-off, back handspring, layout with a full twist in it. 

“How in the purgatory did you learn how to do that?” Anna shouted. “I want in!” 

“I apparently just have a knack for it? The coach told me that it takes most people years to learn how to do that. I learned in about 2 months.” 

“More! More!” Cathy cheered. It was kind of cool seeing the different things the queens took up. 

And so, for the next hour or so, the queens watched Anne tumble on the floor, balance on the four inch beams, fly over the vault table, and swing around the bars. 

“Do they hold classes or something? I seriously wanna learn,” Anna exclaimed. 

“Yeah, they hold classes on Saturday mornings for adults, no experience needed.”

That Saturday, all six queens went to the class. To say that some of the other queens were not gifted with the many different things gymnasts required was an understatement. 


	10. Chaos Can Lead To Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After video calling many fans, the first fan she had called still stood out to Anne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, short continuation of pt 8? Enjoy, and have a lovely day!

Since video calling random fans of the show, one girl still stood out amongst them all to Anne: Layla. The girl had mentioned wishing she could see them live, and now that the theater community had announced that it was safe to go back to performing in the theater, Anne saw her chance to make the teen’s wish come true.

_ AnnieBoleyn: hi layla! Idk if u remember us video chatting, but i wanted to ask u sumn bout the talk we had _

_ Andtonightwearelive: Hi! Of course I remember that! It was only the best day of my life!  _

_ AnnieBoleyn: so im assumin u saw we’re goin back to live performances right _

_ Andtonightwearelive: Yeah! I was so excited to see, and I’m wishing you all the best from afar! _

_ AnnieBoleyn: what if it didnt have to be from afar? Like, what if u came to our opening?  _

_ Andtonightwearelive: Well, that would be the dream, but I don’t think that’s possible for me unfortunately. I don’t really have the money  _

_ AnnieBoleyn: what if I sent u and another guest tickets to come see us front row? We’d rly love it.  _

_ Andtonightwearelive: you’re kidding me right? I can’t accept that!  _

_ AnnieBoleyn: im serious when i tell u we would all rly like to meet u. weve called a buncha ppl n u rly stood out to me kat and janey _

_ Andtonightwearelive: I mean... if you’re serious about this, I would love to! But I wouldn't want to impose _

_ AnnieBoleyn: love, i contacted u bout this. u wouldnt be imposing at all _

And so, on the night that their theater opened back up, Layla was there- front and center, just like the second queen had promised. Cathy had even taken her phone after the MegaSix, making sure to get every queen in the shot. 

After the show, Anne had made her way straight to the stagedoor, hoping and praying that her favorite fan was outside. Not seeing her immediately slightly disheartened the second queen, but she met with many fans before seeing the teen.

“Hey Layla! Hope you enjoyed the show!” 

“I absolutely did! Thank you so so much for-”

“Of course dear. If you stick around, I might be able to arrange something special for ya,” the second queen whispered. “Just like, walk away for a little bit. When the line clears out, I’ll bring you inside.” 

After about thirty minutes, the stagedoor had cleared, and only Layla was left. 

“Come on in.” She opened the stage door and gestured for the teen and her mother to go through.

“Are you sure?” When the green queen nodded, the two guests made their way in.

“I figured you might want to meet the others?” 

“I, uh, that would be wonderful!” The teen smiled. “As long as I’m not imposing on anything of course.” Anne led the two back to the dressing room she shared with Cleves and Howard, all of the other queens already changed into their street clothes and waiting for the special guests.

“Knock knock!” Anne yelled. “Is everyone clothed?” The other five chimed in with their responses, and the second queen opened the door. 

“Layla!” Jane smiled softly at the teen. “It’s so wonderful to meet you! And this is your mum?”

“Yes I am. Also Jane. Thank you so much for this. The show really was just splendid,” the older woman replied. 

“Thank you for coming!” Anna gestured to the couch in the room. “Take a seat, chat a bit if you want!” 

“Is there a bathroom around here actually?”

“Yeah! I can get the stage manager to take you if you’d like?” The mum nodded and was taken out of the room. Without her mother in the room, Layla took the time to say what she was too nervous to say in front of her mother.

“I, uh, oh my gosh,” the teen stumbled over her words. 

“It’s alright love. Take your time in what you want to say. We’ll listen,” Cathy encouraged. 

“I just, uhm, thank you. I don't think I ever would’ve been able to see the show if it weren’t for you guys reaching out. My family doesn’t exactly have the money to see shows often... well ever actually. Uhm, just thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.” 

The eight stayed in the dressing room and talked well into the night. When Layla left, she was gifted with many things from each of the queens. Catherine had given her one of the studs from her outfit that had fallen off (“I’m sure the costume designer won’t mind”). Anne had made her a balloon crown and signed it (“I know it won’t stay inflated forever, but”). Jane had written her a small note (“ _ Stay humble. Stay kind. You are enough!”).  _ Anna had taken a dollar bill from their travels to New York and signed it (“Because I have more than enough money to go around,” she joked). Kat had gifted her a small drawing of a cat (“Because I’m Kat, and I like cats”). And Cathy had handed the teen a pen (“I’m pretty sure if I gave you anything else, it would be pretty off-brand of me”). 

Anne was beyond thrilled that her chaos was used for good. Even if it meant that helping just one person, it was all worth it. The other queens didn’t seem to mind either. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure as inspiration strikes me, there will be more chaos to come! If anyone has any ideas for this, please let me know! I would love love love to bring your ideas to life!


End file.
